The Party Is Over

If I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skim on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling, have you seen that?

If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favourites. You may have been laid a few times, but you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy.

And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right? "once more unto the breach dear friends."
But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help.

I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But I bet you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes - feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you, who could rescue you from the depths of hell!

...and you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer.

And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you.

You don't know about real loss, because it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you.

Personally... I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you I can't read in some fucking book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are, then I'm fascinated - I'm in. But you don't want to do that do you? You're terrified of what you might say.

Your move boy.